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Reigning Queen of Genetic Misfortune
Reigning Queen of Genetic Misfortune

jakeenglishfromstatefarm:

that-kid-who-never-swears:

jakeenglishfromstatefarm:

yeah i got money 
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but do you got dem big bucks

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FUCK

castielinablanket:

lightspeedsound:

manybodies:

lightspeedsound:

lunapics:

theshells:

I can’t stop laughing at Harry running the fuck awaythe boy who lived ladies and gentlemen.

….You realize, of course, that Hermione Granger lit a teacher on fire when she was eleven, and kept a person alive in a jar for a year when she was fourteen, and studies dark and forbidden magics for kicks, and is one of the brightest and strongest witches of her era. If she came at me, even wandless, I would aparate to Neptune to get away from her.

Hermione Granger also: 

  • punched Draco Malfoy in the nose for being an idiot 
  • purposefully performed a confundus charm on whatshsface WHILE HE WAS FLYING just so Ron would win (omfg that is so fucking dangerous) 
  • literally pulled a fucking Bourne Identity on her parents and managed to set them up in fucking Australia (jesus christ she literally made it so that she NEVER EXISTED wtf that’s so fucking 007)
  • Convinced the Ministry of Magic to give her an incredibly dangerous and volatile device that allowed her to ALTER TIMELINES COMPLETELY (just because she was so smart, literally, that is the reason, her “potential”) 
  • Has enough basic survival skills and badass magic to literally disappear to the middle of nowhere and flourish AND figure out Voldemort’s plot with Harry 
  • Hermione also figures out not only what Voldemort’s plan is, but generally how to beat it, WAY BEFORE VOLDEMORT EVER DOES. Why? because she is just that much smarter and better at magic than everybody else

in conclusion: Voldemort wishes he could be as awesome as Hermione, that’s why he wants to kill her so bad. 

Can we rehave this series with hermione as the protagonist. 

Hermione Granger and “That Time I Used the Power of Research and Deductive Reasoning to Make Sure Harry Didn’t Die”

Hermione Granger and “That time I figured shit out and literally ended up petrified for the cause and it took my friends weeks to figure out that I had the research on me”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I Was a Time Lord”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I Realized I was Hot and Smart and Saved Harry’s Ass with Research. Again. All the Time. Really, He Would Have Died Without Me.” 

Hermione Granger and “That time Harry was too emo to actually do shit so I did shit in his name because I am the power behind the throne clearly also PS fought evil deatheaters and won”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I told Harry about the Dangers of Copying off Somebody’s else’s work that wasn’t mine and OH LOOK I WAS RIGHT”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I let Harry Decide Where to Go and What To do and we ended up wandering the forests of dean for like 5 months before saving his ass at Hogwarts” 

If Hermione had been The Chosen One Voldemort would have been defeated while she was still in her crib.

crocodilepatronus:

a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

uh

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babyferaligator:

babyferaligator:

HOW DID BARACK PROPOSE TO MICHELLE 

HE GOT ON ONE KNEE, PULLED OUT A RING, AND SAID “I DONT WANNA BE OBAMASELF”

katelinnea:

nedian:

I love when cats decide they love something.

That is a very patient bunny.

Bo Burnham on The Pete Holmes Show - 3/5/14

karlimeaghan:

I love how he then had to explain to the audience that he was joking.

tastefullyoffensive:

The Many Expressions of Marutaro the Hedgehog [via]

tentacletherapissed:

pinkeliphant:

hisuidaze:

fatwink:

Ok everybody…..I have this great new idea for a blockbuster movie series…..picture this…..dystopian future…….and teenagers…….

oh and to spice it up
heterosexual couples

yes but consider this: A LOVE TRIANGLE oh man guys we’re gonna make so much money

But, stay with me here… What if they were all… WHITE?

superwholocked-in-albion:

jeankd:

thegoddamazon:

The most important line in the whole damn song. MESSAGE.

The only historically accurate line in the whole film. 

excuse u

superwholocked-in-albion:

jeankd:

thegoddamazon:

The most important line in the whole damn song. MESSAGE.

The only historically accurate line in the whole film. 

excuse u

iwillbe-0verjoyed:

If you think instrumental music is stupid you can decrescendo out of my life

timeywimeyhobbit:

why does my body keep  producing acne why can’t you focus on more important things like growing wings or making me hot 

koalatea:

your mom is named mom…my mom is named mom… dude don’t freak out but i think we’re related